Writer in Residence

Daddy Writer To be – What I want for Our Malek

It has been quite the journey to parenthood. Can’t say it was easy, but neither is our existence as transparent souls. Our love refers to my love for Tarn. It has given me patience and hope.

 When Tarn and I got married, somehow a clip from our wedding was leaked and made it to several online blog forums and even YouTube. There were a lot of hateful comments about us being two men getting married…as if no such thing ever happened…as if two men can’t be together. We received a lot of hateful comments, people commenting that both Tarn and I are going to hell. At the same time, I received a death threat and that I should “leave the boy,” referring to Tarn that is.

 I was overwhelmed, I didn’t go to work for the first bit, and I isolated myself in fear. I didn’t know how to deal with it, and Tarn kept reminding me that he would protect me from any harm. I knew that, but I couldn’t fight that feeling that was suffocating me. The only thing that helped me calm my nerves was the act of writing. I locked myself in my room and I started to write. Poetry was the only form that made me feel safe. The poems eventually ended up in my poetry book War/Torn (Book*Hug Press).

 Now that I look back, I want to state the following:

 Our love for one another triumphed over hatred and ignorance. It got us through our fears and uncertainty. Our love is becoming Malek, which means King in both Arabic and Punjabi.

 Just a few weeks before our Malek is born, I thank God for everything. I Thank God for my husband, our surrogate Kiran. No threat or fear or hatred can separate us apart. We’ve been together for more than 8 years now. One thing I love about Tarn so much is that he is my biggest supporter.

 I have a full-time job and I’m a full-time writer. People always wonder, how the heck am I able to finish so many books and writing projects?  I point at Tarn. He lets me write after work while he cooks and takes care of me. He attends all the festivals and workshops with me also.  

 I’m gonna be a full-time dad soon and my Malek is going to be my # 1 priority.

 As Tarn and I share the same values, I know that our Malek will be showered with love. I want him to know that he will be loved unconditionally and that whatever he chooses in life, whoever he loves, we will always support him no matter what.

 Of course, as a daddy writer to be, I do dream that Malek will become a writer just like me. If he doesn’t want to,  then we will support him in whatever he dreams of.

 As a daddy writer to be, I want our Malek to be the messenger of love and hope that our world needs.

The views expressed in the Writer-in-Residence blogs are those held by the authors and do not necessarily reflect the views of Open Book.

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