Form Blurbs for Your Friends' Books
By Monica Heisey
"From page one, this book had me enraptured. I could barely wait to turn to page two. I can say with complete certainty that pages 3-10 were equally incredible, and think we can all agree that's all you need to recommend a book. In short: you'd be a fool not to buy this and read at least the first eighth."
"This book is required reading for all parents, or children of parents."
"Astonishing."
"To quote beloved Japanese cleaning guru Marie Kondo: 'Books are essentially paper—sheets of paper printed with letters and bound together.' This is one of those."
"It's impossible to overstate what this book did for me. It was a so-so reading experience, but I used it successfully to ward off not one but two (!) unwanted conversations with acquaintances on public transit. I enjoyed showing off that I'd received an Advanced Reading Copy on social media, and when I was done reading, the book was the exact right size to complete the red section of my colour-blocked ombre book shelf. A masterpiece."
"Truly astonishing."
"How would I describe this book? In a word, novel. (Get it?)"
"It's important to read books and this definitely is one."
"I read this book of my own free will and didn't owe anyone a favour. In the end, after reading it all the way through, I decided independently that it was a very good book. Maybe you will agree!"
"I am honestly astonished at how astonishing this book is. I am astonished."
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"This book is a searing vision of the wounds our century has inflicted on traditional masculinity. It's positively Vonnegut-esque. No part of this blurb was pilfered from the script of the first Bridget Jones' Diary movie and it is honestly rude of you to insinuate that."
Have you ever looked at a word for so long that it ceases to hold any meaning? Astonishing.
The views expressed by Open Book columnists are those held by the authors and do not necessarily reflect the views of Open Book.
Monica Heisey is a writer and comedian from Toronto, and the editor-at-large for Broadly, a VICE channel. Her first book, I Can’t Believe It’s Not Better, is out right now.
Monica's writing can also be found in The New Yorker, The Guardian, VICE, Gawker, The Cut, Playboy, The Hairpin, Rookie, The Toast, Hazlitt, noisey, the Huffington Post, FASHION, Reader’s Digest, etc. etc. etc.
