Unsung Heroes of Literature #4: On the Edge of Extinction, Interview with Interrobang

When Interrobang heard I was doing this series, they contacted me about the possibility of doing an interview. When I agreed, they sent a car for me. We met in Canoe, a restaurant that I would never have agreed to meet in had Interrobang not insisted that they would pick up the tab. I arrived at Canoe and was shown to a window seat, a bottle of Champaign chilled and waiting. Interrobang had already arrived, dressed in the height of fashion, their hair freshly styled. I found Interrobang quite charming. At least at the beginning anyway. The interview that follows has been edited.

Open Book: How was your day?

Interrobang: Fantastic! How was yours?

OB: You’re the first punctuation mark who’s asked me that?

IB: Really? How strange!

OB: I think, if you don’t mind, we should start with your function. Because, to be honest, I suspect that there are some people reading this who haven’t even heard of your before.

If you didn’t mind, perhaps I could start off with a little plea? I know that many of your readers aren’t sure how to use me. I know that, perhaps, some of them might be meeting me for the first time. All I ask is that you keep an open mind. Remember that there was a time when the colon, the comma, even the period were punctuation marks struggling to for general usage. I urge you to remember that.

OB: Well put. So, tell us: what is it you do?

IB: I am an amalgamation of the exclamation point and the question mark.

OB: Instead of people writing ‘!?,’ they can use you. ‘‽.”

IB: Oh no. Not at all.

OB: Sorry?

IB: When you mix yellow and green you get…?

OB: Blue?

IB: Exactly.

OB: You’re saying that you’re not a replacement for ‘!?”?

IB: Not at all. You refer to me as if I’m one of the Bazin Five.

OB: Who!?

IB: Herve Bazin? The French writer who in his landmark 1966 essay “Plumons l’Oiseau,”proposed six new punctuation marks?

OB: No, I’m sorry, I’ve never heard of Herve Bazin.

IB: The Authority, Certainty, Doubt, Irony and Love Marks‽

OB: I think I’ve heard of the Irony mark?

IB: Well, that was their fate. None of them caught on. There was no need for them. They are all things you should be able to determine through the writing, through the act of reading. Not because there’s a punctuation mark that tell you something is so. To lump me in with all of those marks is insulting.

OB: What’s the sixth?

IB: I forgot to mention the Acclamation Point! What was Bazin thinking? The design was two exclamation marks rising from the same point. Why not just use two exclamation marks?

OB: I think I could ask you the same question.

IB: What‽

OB: Why not just use an exclamation mark and a question mark?

IB: Because it wouldn’t mean the same thing!!

OB: How is running a question mark and an exclamation mark next to each other any different than running two exclamation points next to each other?

IB: I thought we went over this‽ No‽ The exclamation points are just doubling things up. I’m not just two punctuation marks next to each other. I’m two points on top of each other, combined, mixed, fused together. It’s not as simply as putting an exclamation mark next to a question mark. I’m not excitement and then confusion: I’m excitement and confusion at the same time! Producing a third thing that’s completely new!

OB: And what is that third thing?

IB: Interrobang!!

OB: No, not your name, your meaning…

IB: Interrobang!!

OB: Please sit down. People are looking.

IB: Interrobang!!

OB: You’re gonna get us kicked out of here…

IB: The two cannot be separated! My name is my meaning! Interbang!!

OB: If you don’t sit down and quiet down, I really am leaving.

IB: Okay. I’m sorry. I just get so excited …

OB: And confused…

IB: Yes. It’s a lonely life I’m living. It’s hard — the struggle to gain recognition is hard.

OB: To be perfectly honest with you, I had a very hard time finding you at all. None of the fonts on my laptop came with you.

IB: Wingbats2.

OB: Sorry?

IB: You can find me on Wingbat2. It’s a font you can find on a lot of versions of Mid-90s Microsoft Word. Or do you use a Mac?

OB: I do.

IB: Well, then — you’ll have to copy and paste.

OB: Cut and paste?!

IB: Yes. Go to my Wikipedia entry and then copy me from there. Then paste me into wherever you want.

OB: Really!? That’s the best way?

IB: It is.

OB: That’s ...

IB: I know. I know. I know. But they won’t give me my own key. They won’t even put me in the additional menus. What else am I to do‽

It was at this point during our interview that Interrobang stopped speaking. They sat at the table, their hands staring at their hands for a full ten minutes. When Interrobang finally looked up, I was staring into the eyes of a punctuation mark aware of their own mortality. The effect was chilling. When the cheque arrived, I agreed to pay. Ironically, the next interview I have scheduled is with Hashtag, a punctuation mark who also lived a life of equal obscurity, but now seems to have everything Interrobang wants.